Guilty For Living

Life is short and tenuous. My close call this year did not worry me for myself very much as I was out of it most of the time I was sick and because I just don't seem to have the gene that makes me worry about it for myself too much anyway. Other than not wanting to leave a mess, I don't have much dread of dying. But I don't like it when it happens to someone else. I was surrounded by loved ones who cared greatly for me and got me on my feet pronto. I can never pay them back.

I was far more saddened that just this year seven pretty good friends of mine died and a couple more had close calls. Some others are in trouble with diseases now and that is always hard when we find out about it. It is just a fact of living that we all die too soon. That fact alone should make life the most totally amazing, thrilling important and respected thing in human experience. There is nothing anyone can do about it not lasting forever but we should revere it above all things in our fellow travelers on this ship. It all makes me feel a little guilty to be so lucky as to have made it this far. Thankyou, everyone that helped.